a barmaid and I decided to hit a couple clubs downtown. She picked the club.

I remember sitting at the bar talking to the owner, a very large woman, when I excused myself to find the men’s room. It is not uncommon to see a long line in front of the lady’s room, but there were long lines to both. Then I noticed all the people in my line were female. Checked and it was the right line — both lines were all female. Well, at least I had the urinals all to myself. When I returned, I asked why everyone in the club was female. She said it was ladies night. Well, I had been told that, but silly me, I thought it meant ladies got drinks at half price — not that it was lesbian night. Live and learn.

We hailed a taxi for the next club. In the cab, I said “How much to Atlantic City?” Just joking. He said $100. That’s cheap, considering the distance and the fact he has to return. What the hell, we went to A.C. First, the driver took us to Queens to get his own car. He wasn’t putting this on the meter and the only reason he said $100 was because he wanted to go.

So, after a two-hour pause, our barhopping continued in Atlantic City. By now there existed several casinos. Eventually we went to sleep, and then went out again the next day. She started with a drink. I can’t drink in the morning. Now she weighed almost nothing even though she was taller than I, could out-drink me, and had not eaten. All of a sudden, the alcohol hit her and she became belligerent. I had seen people snap like this twice before. There is little you can do except keep them calm and let the body filter out the poison. But she got into it with a waitress and they escorted us out of the casino. The cops came and put her in the back seat of the squad car while I tried to convince them that she was all right. That became pointless when she kicked out a rear window of the squad car. I didn’t know that was possible. Well, she was spending that night in lockup.

Okay, I am in Atlantic City, and there is nothing I can do for her at this point. I may as well hit the tables. One problem. I had not expected to play and had no bankroll. But by chance, I did have a cashier’s check. Second problem. A.C. casinos are financial institutions under New Jersey law and must follow pertinent laws when making loans. Cashier’s checks are not really

 © 2009 Norman Wattenberger